As a self-proclaimed "Average Joelle" surfer with dreams of getting a stand-up barrel (a girl can dream, right?!), confronting my fears and pushing my surf limits is something I've had to do in recent years.
Surfing can be a total pissing contest sometimes.
Dudes try to seem unfazed and have a cooler-than-thou mentality, but we're not going to do that right now. We're going to have an honest conversation, and I'm going to share how I have dealt with fear out in the lineup as a female surfer.
Why do I think this is important? Why do something that makes you uncomfortable? Isn't surfing supposed to be fun?
Well yes, it is supposed to be fun, but if you're like me, you know that sometimes there's a desire to push the ceiling of your limits and discover all that you can do.
Full disclosure: I am not a big wave charger; I'm really just a girl that loves longboarding baby waves! However, I have been on several trips to Indo and taken a crack at surfing the high-performance reef breaks that populate the islands there. I say that to let you know that I'm not a crazy adrenaline junkie whose advice in this blog is gonna be just SENDDD ITT. I'm just a normal surfer girl that understands the anxieties and challenges of being a woman out in the lineup.
So let's dive into how we're going to face our surf fears and gain confidence!
1: Expose yourself slowly
There really is no rush to get out there and charge what is scary for you. During one of the sessions on my recent trip to the Mentawais, I anxiously sat in the channel at Rags Left, watching surfers catch waves further up the point.
When I voiced my fears to one of my boatmates, she explained to me that this is how you start to push your surf ceiling and it’s okay to take it slow: “Maybe this time you just sit in the channel and watch. And then next time, maybe you paddle closer to the peak. It’s a win just to be out here.” Sometimes all you can do that day is sit in the channel and watch the peak. Or sometimes all you can do is catch one wave an hour.
The main point is that it’s okay for the exposure to happen in small, gradual steps!
2: Make some mentality changes
When I’m feeling anxious out in the water, I vocalize what I’m feeling. "I’m scared of going on this wave, blowing the takeoff, and then getting caught inside and getting worked by the other set waves.” For me, when I vocalize my fear, it mentally feels as though I’m releasing it so it’s not living rent-free in my head.
The other mentality shift I have is I tell myself, "If these people are doing it, so can I." Back in the Mentawais, I witnessed my fellow boatmates and other surfers in the water take off on waves and come out mostly unscathed (except for a few reef cuts). Witnessing that, I would tell myself, "Okay, they went for it and came out okay; I can do it too."
3: Train and prepare your body
You're truly doing yourself a disservice as a surfer if you're not learning about proper breath training. This and swimming laps at the pool were easily some of the best things I did that helped me prepare for whatever I thought awaited me in the Mentawais. My first session at HTs proved just how valuable this preparation was.
Most of the waves were manageable, but there was a growing swell, and suddenly, a solid overhead wave appeared from the deep.
There was absolutely no way I was making it over.
Yes, I totally had that panicky voice in my head going off as this was probably the largest wave I'd ever seen detonate in front of me like that. However, I knew what was coming, and I knew I only needed to hold my breath for a few seconds.
As I got put through the washer, I covered my head, let my body ragdoll, and relaxed as the water tossed me. A few moments later, popping up from that, I actually felt amazing because I had specifically prepared for a moment like that.
4: Understand your abilities (and surf with others who are aware of them as well)
Sometimes the voice in our head can be very loud and convincing when it comes to our abilities. Sometimes you just need a good surf sista that believes in you.
On the first day of the charter, I was tripping about going to surf chest-high Maccas (It was such a user-friendly day; I giggle about it now, but I wouldn't have this feeling if I didn't gain the exposure first!). Thankfully, my friend who invited me on the trip was very confident in my surf abilities and told me constantly, "You can do this. You can totally surf this." Encouragement from a trusted surf friend is the ultimate confidence boost and makes you realize, if they believe in me, I must be capable in some way.
Truthfully, it's much more impactful and inspiring to me when I see other women taking off on waves that I'm scared of.
Enjoy The Learning Process
In the aftermath of my Mentawais trip, I did feel some frustration as I felt that fear held me back on that trip and I didn't progress the way I wanted to. At the end of the day, I still did make progress, and my surfing improved in the two weeks there more than in six months surfing in my bubble in San Diego!
Nobody immediately rises to the top. At one point, most of us were scared of 2-foot waves, then we were scared of 4-foot waves, and so on. Progress is not pretty.
Trust me, I wish I could just skip right to the part where I get that stand-up barrel and skip the failures that come with pushing your surf abilities.
However, there's something truly beautiful and fun about progressing and achieving things you never thought possible, whether they're small or big victories.
